Friday, August 24, 2007

Phyllis finds greatness on MTV

So, I started watching this show on MTV called The Hills. It's a reality soap opera, and I had read about the really terrible people who star in it and their fights/plastic surgeries. It's my new favorite show. It's about this girl who looks like a horse with a bad boob job and very blond hair (see THIS!). She is engaged to this even worse person who would be gay, but is actually so lizardly creepy that he is actually just asexual. I loved it that when confronted by the bare walls in their new apartment, Spencer (I know!) decides to have them graffiti-ed with the word "Hollywood" and other novel tags. Horseface didn't like that.

I also loved when Horsey was telling her co-worker that she was going to make dinner for Spencer, and the co-worker said, "Do you have the stuff?"
Horsey: "Like dinner? No, I have never made it."
Co-worker: "No, like the equipment. The, umm, like, what are they called? The pots and pans?"

Fucking brilliant.

The real crux of the show, though, is the demise of the dear but unsubstantiated friendship between Horsefly and Lauren, a somewhat cute sourpuss who is super judgmental (come on, like you're not) about her friends' boyfriends. It doesn't really help that all the male people on the show are astoundingly stupid. Lauren works as an intern at Teen Vogue tm and rarely smiles. Apparently, the whole falling out with Whinny came after Whinny deserted Lauren for Spence and then supposedly started a rumor that even I heard that there was a sex tape with Lauren and some guy who I have also read about because he was caught driving drunk and beating women (see THIS). He also allegedly used the term "beef curtains" to refer to Lauren's vagina. That's unacceptable.

Really, the only sympathetic person on The Hills is this very pretty girl named Whitney who also works at Teen Vogue tm. She isn't mean, she seems to actually work at her job, and care about something other than mtv drama. But, who knows, really. She is on The Hills, after all. Pretty only gets you so far.