Friday, April 27, 2007

Unbelievable House

Phyllis: Of all the unconvincing aspects of House--Cameron's matching vests, pants, and jackets; Cuddy's va-va-voomage; Foreman's velvet blazers; House's pink shirt; Wilson's equanimity (his clothes are boring)--what do you think is the most unbelievable part of the show?

Hank: The most unbelievable thing to me, Phyllis, is that they said there was going to be a dog and there wasn't any dog. You can imagine how I feel about this. Was it not Chekhov himself who said that if you're going to put a dog over the mantle in Act I, that dog had better bark by Act III?
I lack your fine eye for sartorial matters, sweetheart, but I did think that Foreman's velvet smoking jacket was too shiny. All I can think is that Omar Epps had some kind of rider in his contract that let him wear that jacket. But I have to say that Cameron is the most unbelievable to me this season. It is not the clothes that bother me. It's the bangs, honey, and the face, the way they're so composed all the time. Every time a patient goes into defib, I expect her to shout, "I need a stylist! STAT!" And I do not even want to start on the Permanent PMS they have given her this year. I don't mind her being a bitch, but she is not an interesting bitch.

Phyllis: Hank. You are a man. I don't think that Cameron is a bitch--it hurts me just to say the word. I think the problem with Cameron is that the writers don't know what kind of woman/cliche she is: does she has a crush on her boss? is she a ball buster who has no feelings (for Chase, her real-life soon-to-be-husband)? is she the sensitive one with the dead husband? is she the annoying one? I sort of dislike all of the possibilities, but I think making her want House is the stupidest. Making Cuddy have some ambiguous thing for House is also stupid. The writers need to write a really great character for House to fall for, really. That would make Cuddy and Cameron (and Wilson?) more interesting.

Hank: They didn't do so hot last time, Phyllis. Sela Ward? The woman is all eyebrows. Her face has the expressive range of a bobblehead doll. All she can do is Career Woman and Horny Career Woman. Don't you remember Sisters? She's the one who made Julianne Phillips look deep.

Who would be a good love interest for House, in your estimation? I am probably alone in thinking that Lisa Kudrow would be an interesting choice, but God knows she needs the work. Michelle Pfeiffer is a housewife now, isn't she? It can't be much fun being the first person to hear David Kelley's every thought. It's a prestige show and I'll bet they could get some long-in-the-tooth Hollywood A-Lister to do it. The question is, which one?

All this talk about House has reminded me that we are neglecting the writing of our pilot for the show about a hospital that only treats characters from other TV shows. I mentioned it on the Golden Gables chatboard and several people were very excited.

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